Exploring Our Relationship with Money
When people consider seeing a psychologist, money isn’t usually the first topic that comes to mind. However, our relationship with money is a powerful and often overlooked aspect of emotional and psychological well-being.
Why Money Matters in Therapy
Money impacts our daily lives. It’s not just about how much we have, but how we experience money. Two people can have the same bank balance but feel entirely different about it. For instance, you might have a large savings account and still feel anxious. On the other hand, someone else might have very little and feel perfectly content.
This emotional relationship with money often stems from past experiences—our upbringing, family narratives, and even inherited beliefs from previous generations.
How Our History Shapes Our Relationship with money
Our family’s experience with money leaves a deep imprint. Perhaps one side of your family struggled financially, while the other valued saving above all else. Over time, these stories influence how we view abundance, scarcity, and security.
It’s not unusual to carry beliefs like:
- “Money is dangerous.”
- “I don’t deserve to have more.”
- “Only certain people can be wealthy.”
These beliefs often operate in the background until we consciously examine them.
Questions to Deepen Your Awareness
To begin healing and reshaping your relationship with money, ask yourself the following:
How do I feel when I spend money?
Whether you’re paying rent, buying groceries, or treating yourself, take note of the feelings that arise. Do you feel anxious, guilty, or perhaps relieved? These reactions are clues to your emotional history with money.
What emotions surface when I manage my finances?
Money management often triggers deeper feelings. Do you feel fear, frustration, or maybe avoidance? Becoming aware of these emotions can be a first step toward more mindful financial decisions.
What did I inherit from my family?
Look at your maternal and paternal influences. What attitudes toward money were present in your household growing up? Were they empowering or limiting? Understanding this legacy can offer valuable insights.
What are five core beliefs I hold about money?
Take a moment to write down five beliefs you have about money. These might include:
- “Money is the root of all problems.”
- “You have to work extremely hard to earn money.”
- “Rich people are greedy.”
- “Money brings happiness.”
- “I’ll never have enough.”
Then ask: Where do these beliefs come from? Are they true for you today?
Creating a Healthier Relationship with Money
Once you’ve reflected on these questions, you may begin to shift your narrative. You might start to feel less guilt, more empowerment, or even a sense of calm when thinking about your finances. Therapy can be an incredible support in this process, offering a safe space to unpack emotional blocks and redefine what money means to you.
Book Recommendation: The Psychology of Money
For those wanting to explore further, I recommend The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel. It offers relatable insights into how we think, feel, and behave around money—without complicated jargon.
In short, our relationship with money is about so much more than numbers. It’s about meaning, memory, and mindset. With curiosity, compassion, and support, you can begin to rewrite your financial story—and make peace with it.
Happy exploration !
If you would like to be guided in this journey, contact me.
